"Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."
My Boog Pages
Wednesday, September 11
One More Tear
No one will ever forget 9/11/2001. I've only seen two events in my life that were so all-consuming that you could think of nothing else: the attempted assassination of President Reagan in 1981 and the space shuttle Challenger explosion in 1987. Were I older, I'm sure I would remember the days that JFK and RFK and Martin Luther King were killed, or Pearl Harbor, or even the day the Beatles appeared on Ed Sullivan. But in this case, I have extra reason to remember.
My grandmother died in her sleep at about one o'clock on the morning of September 12, less than 24 hoursafter the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Up until I heard the news, two emotions had been fighting for control inside me, rage and sadness. Afterwards, sadness won by default. It was really a horrible week. My wife and I had find someone to watch the kids while we drove six hours to where my grandmother lived. We ended up taking our four-year-old with us. He didn't understand why we were sad, and it was hard for us to remember that he still needed attention. My wife didn't really know how upset I was, I think. Anyway she was preoccupied with the attacks and had trouble processing anything else.
One year later, I wonder when I'll be able to grieve. At least I got to see her a lot in the last couple of years of her life. When we were talking about moving to Dallas, my wife didn't see why I wanted to live close to my father. All I could think is, "How much longer? Will I get to say goodbye?" Just remember to kiss your loved ones today, because you never know.
